We can all agree that Lagos and traffic are practically synonymous, especially during the Christmas season when it becomes an absolute nightmare.
If you’ve ever been caught in Lagos traffic during the Christmas period, you’ll agree it’s a chaotic blend of road rage, drama, and moments that feel straight out of a horror movie.
From gridlocked highways, and honking horns to drivers hurling insults at each other, it’s a never-ending choas, one might say, a horror even.
Christmas traffic in Lagos is definitely not for the weak. In fact, we think it deserves its own big-screen adaptation. Here’s why:
1. The endless plot twists
Just when you think the traffic is easing up, bam! You hit another bottleneck. That shortcut you confidently took turns out to be a trap, with cars jammed tighter than sardines in a tin.
Even worse, the culprit could be a random danfo parked right in the middle of the road, casually loading passengers without a care for the frustrated drivers angrily honking behind it.
2. Characters straight out of a thriller
Lagos traffic isn’t complete without its colourful characters. You’ve got the okada (bike) riders weaving dangerously between cars, hawkers selling everything from snacks to live chickens and evenChristmas trees – yes, actual Christmas trees – and the occasional street preacher loudly reminding evryone of the reason for the season.
And let’s not forget the agberos (tout collectors), who show up like unexpected villains, either demanding fees or pleading for “something for the boys.” It really is a show!
3. Unpredictable climaxes
Picture this: You’re crawling along the Third Mainland Bridge, hoping to reach your destination before nightfall, when suddenly, a car breaks down ahead. Now you’re part of an unplanned roadside mechanic workshop, with drivers stepping out to offer unsolicited advice.
In this horror story, the villain isn’t a masked figure—it’s your dwindling fuel gauge as you sit helplessly in traffic.
4. Sound effects that keep you on edge
The soundtrack of Christmas traffic in Lagos is unforgettable. It’s a mix of blaring horns, vendors shouting “Gala! Cold pure water!” and frustrated drivers yelling “Oga, move now!”
Add the occasional Christmas carol playing faintly from a nearby keke (tricycle), and you’ve got a chaotic symphony that even Hans Zimmer couldn’t compose.
5. The race against time
In every horror movie, there’s a sense of urgency. In Lagos traffic, it’s the desperate race to make it to the Christmas party, wedding, or church service before it’s too late.
The stakes are high: will you make it to the jollof rice and fried chicken before it’s all gone? Or will you be stuck in traffic, dreaming of the meal that got away?
Lagos traffic: A true chaos
Surviving Lagos traffic, especially during Christmas feels like a test of patience and endurance. So, the next time you’re in Lagos during the holidays, remember to pack snacks, download your favourite playlists, and, most importantly, get ready for the drama!
ALSO READ: Lagos living: how to beat Lagos traffic
